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Ano si Pipay?

Si Pipay ang maghahandog sa inyo ng katuwaan at pati na rin aral sa buhay! Basahin at sundan ang kanyang buhay-buhay.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

PIPAY Series Episode 2 (THE KID, THE RODENT, AND ME PIPAY)

PIPAY Series Episode 2
The Kid, the Rodent and Me, Pipay

Araay ko!

Ang sakit ng leeg ko. Pa’no ba naman, pinilit ako ng mom na gawing unan ang isang malaking dictionary para daw madagdagan ang vocabulary ko. Hmmp, kinuha lang nya kasi unan ko para ipagamit sa bago naming kuting. Di niya alam mas malalaki pa ang mga daga dito sa bahay kaya maya-maya lang niyan tiba-tiba ang mga rodents na yun.

Wait!

Ano daw? What did I just say? Did you hear that? RODENTS. Ano ‘yun? Bigla na lang lumabas ang word na’to from my tonsilitis. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Di kaya epektibo ‘yung pag-unan ko ng dictionary? Sa tingin mo?

Humanda sa’kin ang mga Inglera kong classmates na ‘yun. Level-up na’to. Upgraded. Enhanced. Promoted. Expanded. Fortified with iron. ISO Approved. Jalal Certified. In short, pwede na akong mag-inarte!

Kaya excited akong pumasok sa school. Pagtapat ko ng gate, kasabay kong pumasok ang isang grade one pupil na umiiyak dahil ayaw niyang ibigay ang hawak-hawak niyang pet. Gusto nya itong isama sa loob ng classroom. Bratinella! She is screaming on top of her voice! Pwede siyang gamiting fire alarm ng school. Kaya walang nagawa ‘yung parents nya kundi payagan siyang dalhin ito. Iniwanan siya ng fetcher niya sa lobby kasi sobrang aga pa at closed pa ang mga classrooms.

Habang nakaupo kami malapit sa isa’t isa, nakita ko kung ano ang pet nya. Daga! Duh, kelan pa naging pet ang daga. At kinulayan nya lang ito ng brown at white. ‘Kala niya, di na ako madidiri dun. Hello, ang daga, daga! Kulayan mo pa man ito ng rainbow, daga pa rin ‘yun.

Maya-maya pa, nakikita kong sinisipat-sipat nya ako habang haplos-haplos niya ang daga. Kadiri talaga. At nagulat na lang ako nang kinausap niya ako.

“Hey, egghead.” Umpisa sa’kin ng grade one pupil na katabi ko.

I was startled and got offended. Kaya sabi ko, Don’t you dare call me HEY! Minsan pinapatulan ko ang ‘di ko ka-level para maiba naman.

Pero parang hindi niya naramdaman na nagalit ako.

“Say hi to Ratatuille.” Sabi niya habang inuutusan nya akong batiin ang daga. Cool pa siya.

Nakuuu! Pag nagagalit pa naman ako, straight English ang tira ko. Never mind na ng subject-verb agreement o kaya proper syntax, object complement, figure of speech, and tenses of verbs.

How dare you have the audacity to insinuate that I could tolerate such a despicable insolence of a diminutive scrap of humanity such as you! Naku, sa sobrang gigil at diin ko sa mga salita ko, nakuha kong i-recite yung buong linyang yun in one breathing! Medyo kinapos nga ako ng hininga. Hirap kaya, try mo! ‘Wag na, ‘di mo kaya.

Siguro naman, nagulat ko na sya.

“Really? Whatever.” Anak ng patong panot ang ulo. At sumasagot pa ang kutong lupa na’to. Sana pala ‘di ko na lang pinatulan.

You are such a spoiled brat with a spoiled rat from a soiled mat under the cot of a fat cat! Enough of this. Nag-tounge twister na ako. Meaning, galit na talaga ako.

“This is hamster, loser.” Sabay kuha ng bag niya at umalis papuntang classroom niya.

I was left frozen. Frigid, fragmented, frosty. I learned my lesson.

I should have talked to that kid better than I did. ‘Kala ko kasi kaya ko siyang sindakin ng mga English ko. I barked up at the wrong bark of the tree.

Ako si Pipay. Transferree.

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